Dare to fully shine
the true power of your sexy self
I recently spoke to a woman that struggles to fully enjoy her body and her sexuality. (I received permission to share this without disclosing her name by the way)
She doesn’t see herself as sexy, sexual, erotic and feminine. She doesn’t feel sexy most of the time. She feels unsexy.
She told me that not much about her life is very sexy other than when she has sex and even then she is mostly up in her head a lot.
She doesn’t view her body a sexy. She doesn’t see herself as an erotic being.
She judges her idea of “the feminine” negatively in many ways, she avoids it, rejects and abandons it within herself. She doesn’t let herself discover what her feminine and sexual energy is or her feminine and sexual self.
She feels judgy and bitter about it.
She feels silly wearing stereotypical feminine clothing, she feels like she is faking or pretending or playing dress up at the thought of wearing feminine colours or make up. It’s not her vibe and she fears that if she wants to feel sexy she needs to wear frilly dresses and sexy underwear and glamourous make up.
She can’t imagine wearing sexy underwear and actually feeling sexy, feminine or attractive in it. Yet, the truth is part of her wishes she could!
She hears a lot about femininity, feminine energy and sexual energy being positive and beneficial and this intrigues her but she is sceptical as to whether she even has it in her or if it’s real.
She doesn’t acknowledge these things within herself already. She doesn’t assign the meaning of “feminine” or “sexual” to the feminine and sexual ways of being she already has and the feminine and sexual things she does.
She just doesn’t see herself as sexy and in many ways she rejects her femininity.
What I know to be true is that there are dual truths at play here. Feminine outward expression has nothing to do with a woman’s innate feminine and sexual energy. Not every woman aligns with feminine outward expression at all and that’s a beautiful thing. Feminine energy and authentic sexiness looks different for every woman.
AND often when a woman cannot see her own femininity and sexiness, it is likely she has rejected the feminine due to childhood trauma, other trauma, conditioning, fear, judgments, limiting beliefs and disconnect from her own erotic nature.
Often there are deep wounds around the masculine too.
Mother and father wounds, mistrust of the masculine due to past toxic relationships, mistrust of the feminine due to toxic female friends/acquaintances. It’s usually our earlier experiences that shape our relationship with the masculine and feminine within us.
abandoning your authentic feminine, sexy self causes imbalance
When the sexy, feminine, erotic aspects of a woman are not being seen or fully expressed for that particular woman, it can cause issues in her life in many ways.
-Struggle, burn out, constant hardship.
-Opting for less than desired in romantic partnership, lowering standards to stay safe or due to unworthiness, settling, putting up with things and people that don’t serve her.
-Money issues, money always being hard work and not much play, lack of money or feast and feminine patterns.
-Selling herself short, people pleasing, pretending and performing to receive.
-Not enjoying her body and all of its pleasure treasures
-Not experiencing her multi-orgasmic abilities
-Not having her sexual needs and desires met by herself or partner(s)
-Feeling like there is something missing
If you know you have somewhat rejected and abandoned aspects of your feminine sexual-self, or if you know you are disconnected in some way, can you think of the reasons this might be?
How do you think or KNOW this is impacting your life?
How does it actually serve you to reject these parts of you? How has it been keeping you safe for instance?
For the woman I was speaking with, she had not been acknowledging or honouring her feminine and sexy self because she has an underlying rejection of her femininity, her sexuality and the feminine due to her relationship with her mother and a past lover. She had shut down to her sexual energy within to protect herself.
She knew it was time to move through this because her whole life was being impacted but the main thing was that she was truly fed up of feeling so negatively about herself.
your sexual self holds the answers
She realised that she has been struggling, pushing, forcing, settling and experiencing patterns of hardship showing up in her life, and turning to every other possible thing instead of her sexuality, sexual energy, instead of her sexiness and her feminine energy and feminine self.
Most women in this position push on through, try to control and micromanage their lives, they are highly strung a lot of the time. They operate in and from their stress responses. If not, then women usually overthink everything, get stuck in healing traps and loops and struggle with authenticity in their lives. They wind up living their lives for others and not themselves.
What do you wind up doing to solve these things in your life?
Does it work?
Are you ready to discover the power within your sexy self?
What if I told you that you don’t have to do those things, they are probably what’s leading you to burn out. What if the answers lie within the very parts of you that you have been avoiding, that are within you right now?
the feminine is calling you…
What I know works is to slow down and take some time to connect into your feminine, sexual self.
This looks like prioritising time for various practices that guide you into a deep connection with your sensuality, your feminine aspects, your sexual energy, your feminine energy and your erotic nature.
It looks like self-inquiry, healing and exploring your innate feminine and sexual abilities.
It looks like mind-set shifts via your own authentic truth, not someone else’s and not preconceived notions or more conditioning about the feminine and sexuality.
It looks like experimentation, process, journey, curiosity, adventure.
Most women don’t think they have the time for this, but I can assure you that you will bend time when you prioritise yourself in these ways.
It’s amazing how your life clicks into flow state when you let yourself explore the most vulnerable, intimate and powerful parts of your being.
And it is about BEING, it is not about just thinking or just doing; it’s about shifting to a new way of operating. This is not a one time an done kind of thing. This is a lifestyle shift, a life time devotion.
Getting to know these parts of you can heal generations of shame, toxicity and rejection.
The process may not always look fun and pleasurable. It may look like numbness, nothingness or pain and sorrow. It may look like rage, anger, and grief at first.
All of you is welcome. You must not pretend.
Having a level of devotion and therefore persistence and resilience can greatly support your healing and help to awaken you to the beauty and pleasure within you. This will bring you into your full expression of YOUR feminine, sexual, erotic self.
Only by letting go of what you think you know, and losing your mind to come to your senses, will you be able to access your intimate truth and power.
Your feminine and sexual parts of you are the core of your essence and beingness. The core of your existence. The core of life itself. It’s how you came to be. How you exist. What you are made of.
You get to play with this and feel it all.
You must get out of your mind and into your body and you will see that your body holds the wisdom, power, energy and answers you have been searching for.
Do you sense it’s time to get to know your sexy, feminine, erotic self a bit better? Even if it scares you or feels silly or makes you feel cringy?
I know that gifting yourself time and space to discover and express your sexual feminine self is positively life transforming.
How will this transform you and your life?
When you integrate these parts of you, you become more whole, more aligned with your deepest truths and most authentic expression. Your confidence grows, you feel a fullness, a satisfaction that wasn’t there before, you become empowered and feel empowered, you become a powerful influence in your life and everything around you raises to meet your new standard, your new frequency, your new energy.
AND you allow more pleasure in. Pleasure is essential. I’m not talking about a quick fix of dopamine type of pleasure, I’m talking sustainable, bliss states that ripple out and that grow exponentially. Nourishing you for eternity.
How would your life look if you let yourself connect with your feminine, sexy, erotic self and fully integrated those parts of you into your life, practically and tangibly?
What would this mean to you? To those around you? To all the moving parts of your life?
In my experience, truly accessing the power of your feminine, sexual self and becoming expressed in these ways requires 6 essentials:
- Sensitising to your sensuality and senses
- Activating your Empowered Feminine energy
- Exploring your wild, erotic and magnetic self
- Courageously delving into your darkness
- Allowing your deepest and true desires to be heard
- Being emotionally mature and highly conscious
These are the things I cover within many my courses, private programs and retreats.
I recommend my offerings:
>Awaken Your Pleasure – 6 module online course or 3 month 1:1 program.
>Sister of Eros – 4 week group program with 2 day retreat
>Women’s Sex Secrets 101 oracle e-book
Have a look round my website and reach out to me to see what option is right for you.
Leave a Reply
Want to join the discussion?Feel free to contribute!