Something AMAZING has happened for me.
I have been crying tears of joy on and off since it started a couple of weeks ago.
Something I have written on my list of desires for years, something I have had on my vision board for years, something that I’ve been “doing the work with” for YEARS.
My cervix is ORGASMIC!!!
My cervix is FULL of pleasure and SO receptive and ignited that she orgasms again and again!
Oh my Goddess I can’t!
I finally healed my cervix (sobbing emoji to represent tears of pure joy).
I want to share this story because I feel it will benefit MANY women. It is personal and I feel vulnerable but here goes.
Years ago I was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cells on my cervix and was told they were at a level 4. Which they told me is the phase before they turn into cancerous cells.
I had JUST started my diploma at The College of Naturopathic Medicine in London. I was learning all about natural ways of treating illness. I was learning about WELLNESS.
After years of pumping my body full of narcotics and alcohol, after years of selling my body, my yoni as a stripper when I didn’t want to be doing that really and after years of promiscuity….
It was no wonder my beautiful cervix got sick!
I didn’t trust in the healing power of my body and natural medicine at the time of this diagnosis. I had literally JUST started on my path of awakening.
I was a mess. I was at the beginning stages of a very messy metamorphosis and it was not pretty.
My college friends witnessed one of my epic break downs which took place in class one day. I uncontrollably cried for about 20 minutes straight. At the time I was mortified and so embarrassed. I couldn’t stop. I sobbed so hard that members from other classes came to see what was happening!
I was changing is what was happening and I had no idea how to handle YEARS of suppressed emotion, trauma and the grief I was feeling.
In the mean time I was being pressured by the clinic to get the Letz/loop procedure on my cervix. Where a small metal wire creates an electrical current to cut through the “bad cells” on my cervix. Pretty standard according to western orthodox medicine, which I’m not against by the way.
But I do not agree with the mentality of “Just cut it out and don’t address what actually caused it”
I do not agree with isolating symptoms and not taking the holistic nature of how our bodies function in to account.
My whole being and my body was screaming “NO, we can do this. Do NOT get that procedure!”
So I told the clinic I was going to detox instead.
They didn’t like that one bit. They sent me letters, tried calling me every day for a while. It was verging on harassment to be honest. I know their hearts were in the right place but it was A LOT. I ignored the calls and letters.
I did detox. I detoxed hard. I went all in. I went to a very expensive healing retreat in the UK. I juice fasted, I changed my diet, I took herbs, I took bach flower remedies, I drank “blended salads” before high speed blenders where a thing YUK! I had energy healing, I had accupuncture, cognative therpay, counselling…THE WORKS.
I experienced what is known as a “healing crisis” where a gazillion other symptoms came up and I was SO sick for months.
But it was working.
I went back to the clinic about 3 months later and they checked the area and told me the cells had reduced significantly. I later discovered they were labelled a stage 2. Stage 4 down to stage 2, pretty good going for 3 months of detox.
I FELT like I was healing. I FELT like I was getting better.
But the women at the clinic pressured the F out of me to get the procedure there and then. They fear mongered me. They scared the S out of me! They said it would take 2 minutes and it wasn’t a big deal. They made me feel SO small and SO scared. Telling me how stupid I was for not having it done, telling me that no one makes such a fuss about such a small procedure. That the cells would get worse again if I didn’t have them removed. Throwing statistics at me.
They reeeeeeeeeeallly wanted me to have this damn procedure. They had such conviction and such concern in their eyes that I caved.
I wasn’t strong enough this time to say no. I felt absolutely exhausted and just wanted the best for my cervix.
I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust my cervix. I didn’t trust plants. YET.
So I got it done.
No big deal right? Women get this every day and are fine. It’s considered a very minor procedure. It’s considered straightforward and easy with very little risk of complications.
Problem is, when you don’t listen to your body and your intuition, your body and being usually start yelling and screaming at you in various ways to get you to pay attention to them.
And my oh my did my body start yelling at me!
I was one of the few that got complications, of course. I had bleeding, pain, bloating and I could not stop crying for days. I couldn’t sleep, I felt sick and toxic. I was devastated that I hadn’t listened to my body.
I tried really hard to rationalise with myself and give myself credit for doing my best. But I felt broken.
After this experience my Yoni started to shut down in so many ways.
The thought of having sex and my cervix being touched, or knocked, or bumped in any way would make me cringe and contract.
This was around the time that I came across the Jade egg and Saida Desilet’s Jade egg mastery course, all those years ago.
When I discovered that your cervix can orgasm I had a rush of mixed emotions.
I felt EXCITED and AMAZED.
I felt sad and like that will NEVER be possible for me, not now I’ve ruined my cervix. I felt utterly broken and damaged and like it will never happen for ME.
I felt HOPE. I had no idea this was possible and surly if it’s possible for other women it’s possible for me too, right?
I felt elated that this even exists, even if I never ever experience it. The fact other women can just LIT ME UP like I’d never felt before. (ding ding ding life’s purpose moment)
And I felt angry and frustrated.
I felt grief and sorrow.
And after that I set it aside. I didn’t dare go there. I wasn’t ready. I was NOT ready.
SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED but the conversation with my cervix was DONE. I didn’t want to hear another word. I wanted to just get on with my life.
….Fast forward to 3/4 years ago…
My cervix starts speaking to me again. In a whisper. In dreams. In feelings, sensations and emotions coming up.
Knowings. Pain. Fear. Lack of sexual desire. Anxiety. Cringing again.
I was feeling sick and memories of that procedure were haunting me.
Other things were haunting me too. Dark things. Dark things I’d never dared to look at. Questions I’d secretly been asking myself for years. Memories that I had suppressed for my whole life. Things I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to know. It was ALL COMING UP. I couldn’t stop it.
Puzzle pieces were slotting into place without me being able to stop them. Dots were connecting.
A cascade of realisations, knowings, understanding. PTSD, confusion, depression, panick attacks. It kept coming.
It was this time that I acknowledged the childhood sexual abuse I had expereinced.
I was using the Jade egg, taking various courses in Tantra, sex and relationships. I was awakening to my deepest truths.
Shame spirals consumed me for days. Layers of self-disgust that I spent years covering up with drugs.
Deep darkness and…relief.
Finally, I listened to what my Yoni was trying to tell me since I was 3 years old. Finally, I heard the truth. I acknowledged the truth. I understood the truth. I validated the truth.
And still every time I “heard” my cervix I would cringe. Every time I thought about her I would tense up.
I knew it was time to journey into my Yoni and sexual self even more fully.
It wasn’t just my cervix that was tense, sore, painful, numb and presenting symptoms.
I would get all kinds of female issues on and off before this.
This is WHY I created my online course Reawaken Your Yoni. Because it was MY personal journey. I created it for ME and it WORKED and so I put it all into a course for other women.
Anyway, fast forward a bit…
Whilst Rory and I were in France I was practicing the Jade egg, de-armouring my Yoni, Massaging without any thought of a goal or agenda or pleasure or orgasm. It was for self-care, self-love and healing.
Slowly my Yoni was opening more and more. Where there had been pain there was now pleasure. I wasn’t even near my cervix yet but I felt PLEASURE emerging from within.
I had started to reawaken my Yoni.
But I was not done. This was just the beginning. There was more to come. That was just a taste.
Last year in Thailand Rory and I did a tantric massage for couples training. A lot came up for me. I got sick the first day of the course for SIX days. I was hospitalized, no one really knows this. I was SO sick. It was a huge purge I believe.
I had so much come up. There was times of shut down and times of pleasure. It brought up a lot for both of us and our relationship. It was really intense, really beautiful and a test of our love for sure.
We had such an incredible time in Thailand. A HUGE shift had taken place.
Then, coming back to the UK and back to our stable home, back to where I first acknowledged the childhood sexual trauma, I went through an epic bout of PTSD and depression. Which I’ve spoken about a few times on Facebook. The worst depression I’ve ever experienced.
AND then, something amazing happened. This spring time a new dawn was upon me.
It was like all the darkness, all the shadows and all of the past started to disintegrate and dissipate.
And behind it was B L I S S.
I fully opened. I started to blossom and bloom sexually like I’ve never experienced.
And my cervix was ready to be explored. I FELT IT. I felt DESIRE within my cervix. Sexual desire. Desire to be touched. Openness. JOY. PLeasure.
I didn’t try to orgasm. I didn’t even think about that. I didn’t TRY to DO anything.
I just followed the pleasure within my Yoni. It led me to my cervix. She was no longer tense. No longer contracted, constricted or painful.
She was vibrant and PLEASURE-FULL.
Again and again she has been orgasmic!
And this is just the beginning!!!!!!!!!!!
I am FULL. OF. PLEASURE.
FULL of bliss.
My whole body has been vibrating with orgasmic energy for weeks. Like, 2 months now ha ha even when I’ve had some lower vibe days my YONI is VIBRANT!!!!!!
My Yoni is SO receptive. To me, to Rory, to touch, to pleasure, to life!!!!!!!!
I am fully ignited.
My cervix is ALIVE with pleasure!
Something SO juicy happened with Rory, which I will save for another time.
AND something else AMAZING has started to flow but that’s for another time too. Teeeheee.
I can’t wait to share more.
It was about 10 years ago I had that procedure. TEN YEARS that my cervix was sad and shut down!!!
I wasn’t going to stand for that for myself. I wasn’t going to settle for limited pleasure.
Something in me has ALWAYS known that TRUE pleasure is the purpose of my life. It’s why I came here. It’s what I was born to expereince and to teach.
Mediocre was not an option for me.
Many women go a whole life-time without this kind of healing and therefore without ever experiencing the pleasure and bliss within. Without ever being sexually expressed and empowered.
Many women are too afraid to even go there or WORSE they are so shut down they have become apathetic.
In the mainstream media we often hear of women saying they’d rather have a bar of chocolate than have sex and I know why; because they have NO IDEA what sex really is, they have NO IDEA what their bodies and their Yonis are capable of experiencing, they have NO CLUE about sexual healing, sex magic and expansive sex.
I feel angry and sad about this to be honest.
SHAKTI, The feminine and the Power of our Pleasure has been so cleverly suppressed for so long.
NOT ANY MORE!
I want to go onto the show Loose Women here in the UK and tell them the TRUTH.
I want to broadcast this to the nation and to the whole world!
I want all women to know that they do NOT have to endure this. They don’t have to go on putting out without true pleasure.
That we are RECEPTIVE, pleasure-full, sensual, sexual, WILD beings.
We were not born to be tamed. We were born to be FREE!
We were born for bliss!
That pleasure is out birth right and that with the right tools ANY WOMAN can become Pleasure-full, ecstatic, vibrant and ORGASMIC!
That every millimetre of “her” Yoni is FULL of orgasmic energy and pleasure.
That every part of her body is blissful and that just by BEING she can make love with The whole UNIVERSE and FEEL ecstasy in every cell of her body and every atom she is made of.
That behind the shut-down, the boredom, numbness, pain and complacency, the shame, guilt, turn-off, is delicious, heavenly PLEASURE.
Pleasure beyond what she ever thought possible.
That she is luscious, succulent, and full of delights and treasures.
That Paradise is within her.
That she has a whole YONIVERSE to explore and it gets better and better and better.
It is an infinite adventure full of wondrous experiences.
That she really is missing out on something so extraordinary and that is not me fear mongering, that is me sharing the TRUTH TRUTH!
I cannot begin to tell you how this feels. I feel SO blessed.
This process is something I teach. Yiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!! It’s an actual process that works. There are practical tools, journal exercises, teachings and practices that can be taught to any woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How amazing is thhaaaaaattt!!! Ommmggggggggg!!!!
Ha ha ha
That’s it for now my juicy peaches.
I love you.