Over the past 8 years I have been in study and practice of Tantra and expansive sex.
I experienced what I call “sexual shut down” in my late 20s as a result of sexual trauma, a procedure on my cervix and also too much masculine energy sex.
I embarked on a profound journey to sexual empowerment.
I unearthed the missing piece of the sexual puzzle for women – SHAKTI!
Don’t get me wrong I am by NO MEANS the first to discover this but I did find Shakti for myself and now I am sharing her with the world so that other women can uncover their own Shakti Bliss.
I now know what really works to awaken the Goddess between your legs and what it really takes to become FULL of pleasure and bliss.
The magical thing that I discovered along the way is that my sexual healing directly related to me healing my relationship with the Divine Masculine and with money. Raising my sexual consciousness raised my wealth consciousness and completely transformed my relationship with The Universe and my man.
This is now what I teach in my signature program Rising in Love, Pleasure, Sex and Money.
So here are the sexual essentials that will truly awaken the Goddess between YOUR legs:
- Understand The Masculine/Shiva and Feminine/Shakti dynamic and SEXUAL dynamic.
- This dynamic is playing out all.the.time whether you are aware of it or not. It is NOT just about the left and right sides of the brain. It is about energy flow within your body, your expression, the way you operate and function, it is happening between you and your man, you and your business, you and money, you and The Universe. Usually a woman takes up space in the masculine energy WAAAAAY too much for what is required if she wants to be sexually empowered, ecstatic and expressed.
- Without this understanding you may unintentionally continue to damage your beautiful Yoni and sexual self. You may continue to experience far too much masculine energy flow within your sexual experiences and this can cause your Yoni to mistrust you and your man. When you don’t even understand the differences you will never have the balance that is required for sexual bliss.
- Understand the difference between Healing, Intimacy and Eroticism.
- Make sure that all 3 are part of your self-practice and sexual relationship with your man. When you are inclusive of all 3 your body will start to fully open. Healing helps you to release sexual shame, trauma, stagnant energy and blocks to bliss. Intimacy helps you to connect without agenda and expectation. It nourished connection and love. Eroticism allows you to explore your sexual selves, sexual pleasure, your erotic nature and orgasm. They are 3 very different and very essential things for a woman to become sexually expressed and orgasmic.
- Without knowing and honouring these different expressions of sexual energy a woman’s body can become over-stimulated, burnt out and feel objectified. Over time this will shut her down and turn her OFF to sex.
- Prioritise time for your own sexual healing practices.
- These are practices that have no agenda or goal and no performance. These practices are for self-care purposes. Orgasm and even pleasure are not the aim of the game here. The INTENTION is for connection, exploration, biofeedback, self-care and healing.
- Without these practices your Yoni may become tense, constricted, contracted, painful, and numb and loss of pleasure results. Just like you care for other parts of your body with massage, energy work, acupressure, herbs and specific techniques for specific parts of your body; your yoni and sexual-self requires the same.
- The Constant Simmer of Pleasure.
- The constant simmer means including things that bring you joy, pleasure, appreciation, beauty and/or wonderment every day. By being inclusive of the constant simmer a woman’s BODY and spirit comes ALIVE.
- When a woman is not allowing herself to experience joy and pleasure every day in small ways for herself, her light begins to dim. She can feel obligation vibes, resentment, unappreciated, like everything is on her, exhausted, burnt out and like life is passing her by.
- Your Pleasure Compass.
- This relates to The Constant Simmer. These are ALL the things that light you up, bring you joy, excite you, feel expansive, that make your heart sing and that help you relax and unwind.
- When a woman is unaware of her own pleasure compass she can fill her day with things that don’t truly fulfil her. Her inner child feels abandoned. Her wild self is suppressed. Her spirits will be low and she winds up living life for others and on other people’s terms. Life becomes dull, hard-work and uninspiring.
- Understand your holistic sexual self.
- My lovely your Yoni is not an isolated, separate part of you. Your Yoni is intricately connected to ALL other parts of you and not just physically. Your spiritual, emotional and psychological well-being will have a HUGE impact on your sexual well-being just like your physical well-being does. Knowing HOW your body functions and how your sexual system operates is KEY when awakening yourself to your full pleasure potential.
- When you do not understand your holistic sexual self you prevent yourself from operating harmoniously and functioning at your best. This WILL impact your capacity for pleasure and your experience of sex and connection with yourself and your man. You limit and block your sexual energy and never experience it flowing into overflow.
- Your standards, boundaries, requirements and needs.
- When you check in with your sexual self and honour these things you will find that your body will melt open, surrender, blossom, bloom and flourish. You will be able to stay present during sexual play and you will feel your heart expand, your orgasmic energy expand, your pleasure expand. You will experience a full body YES.
- So often women do not even know their own bodies. They do not even know their own requirements and needs. They often do not listen to their own boundaries and standards within the sexual space and wind up participating in things that do not truly align with her sexual self. This leads to lack of true enjoyment, lack of pleasure, empty orgasm, a feeling of disconnect after sexual play among other things.
- The Sacred Space and your diffuse awareness.
- As a woman you are hard wired to have diffuse awareness which means you are aware of your surrounding and environment all the time. This means it’s important to create a space for sexual play that nourishes your senses and diffuse awareness. This will allow you to enjoy the experience more and stay more present during love-making. Take ALL your senses into account.
- When you do not honour your diffuse awareness and you do not set a sacred space that nourishes your senses you will find that your body isn’t as ignited, your senses are not as pleased. You may find your mind wondering off. You may find yourself noticing things that need to get done in the room you’re in. You feel uninspired and therefore less adventurous, less sensual, less sexy, less turned on.
- The Four Pillars of Tantra
- Meditation, Movement, Connection and Pleasure. This relates to your breath, movements, sounding and the techniques and practices you choose. Using various tools, techniques and practices that incorporate the four pillars you can start to learn the SKILL of expansive sex.
- Without being aware of the techniques and tools that support each pillar you are like the blind leading the blind. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It’s like you are stabbing in the dark and any other sayings that mean you are clueless. It’s impractical and you will never become masterful in the bedroom and nor will your man.
- Allowing Emotion
- When you allow yourself to FEEL and express your authentic emotions as they surface during sexual exploration with yourself and/or man it allows you to become fully sexually liberate. Energy is free to flow. You are free to BE who you really are. You release stuck and suppressed trauma, negative emotion, ecstatic emotion and your BODY responds. There is now SPACE for pleasure to fill so you become pleasure-FULL.
- In the main stream media there is a lot of shame placed on expressing emotions, especially within the bedroom. Due to this conditioning women tend to suppress their emotional –sexual expression in fear it will be a turn off. Women are so apt at doing this that they don’t even feel or acknowledge how they really feel. This shuts down authenticity, this shuts down the flow of energy; emotion is energy in motion. Without allowing authentic emotions to express a woman will never be sexually liberated.
- Slowing Down
- When you slow down during love-making and you allow for slowness, stillness and softness your feminine energy can flourish. You female body has the TIME she requires to fully ignite. Your Yoni can experience SHAKTI energy embodied through slow-sex practice. This honouring of slowness will be deeply appreciated by your Yoni even if in the moment it seems pointless or strange. With practice you become more attuned to subtle sensation, sexual energy and the natural organic magnetism between the union of Shiva and Shakti.
- The sex most people have been taught is fast, hot, exciting and it leads to peak orgasm and then it’s done. The fire burns fast and bright but quickly burns out. The issue with this being the ONLY approach to sex is that it is not inclusive of SHAKTI sexual energy and this causes women’s bodies to be over-stimulated and over time this causes a woman to shut down to her pleasure and turn off to sex.
- Self-pleasure exploration and experimentation
- How do you expect your man to know what you want, what you like, what you need when you don’t? The most beneficial way to find out is via your own sexual exploration. When you prioritise time for self-pleasure your whole life becomes pleasure-full! You can then come to your relationship with a full plate for sharing rather than a beggars bowl.
- Without your own self-pleasure practices you can become reliant on your man and you make him your source of pleasure. Doing this completely disempowers you as a woman. It causes an imbalanced energy dynamic with your man and you will never receive what you really want and yearn for. Everything comes from within YOU first!
- Using the RIGHT tools
- Using your own fingers you receive important biofeedback from your body. Using non-vibrating tools is essential if a woman wants to remain fully sensitised. Using various sized and shaped tools helps with tone, suppleness, dexterity which are 3 keys to your pleasure and orgasmic potential. Using tools made from healing crystals, tachycardian charged tools or simple glass tools can be deeply healing and expansive for your Yoni. Having variety is key.
- The truth is vibrators can actually cause issues for women when they are the only tool used for her to self-pleasure. A woman’s yoni can become desensitized, numb and even traumatised with overuse of vibrators. Also using the wrong sixed tools for her yoni can be damaging. Rushing to use tools that are too harsh or shapes that she is not ready for can also cause issues within the yoni. Becoming reliant on using only external tools rather than exploring with her own fingers and hands can cause a deep disconnect from her sexual self and her yoni.
- Knowing how to communicate in the sexual space in empowered and inspiring ways
- When a woman knows how to communicate in empowered ways within the bedroom she become the invitation and inspiration for her man and he wants nothing more than to please her. He never feels emasculated, shamed, wronged or criticised instead he feels confident, powerful, and masculine and like her hero. Meeting her sexual needs no longer feels like a chore or struggle. He no longer feels insecure because of the WAY she expresses herself. It also allows for balance within the sexual energy dynamic. They BOTH experience more pleasure this way.
- So many women don’t even communicated their sexual needs and desires. They do not feel safe or confident to express their truth and so they go on tolerating limited pleasure. She does not know HOW to communicate and fears offending him. The issue is that so many women unintentionally emasculate their man when they do communicate their sexual needs and desires. Women negatively reinforce their man by focussing on what he is doing wrong. She can speak from a space of demanding or dictating rather than the space of being the invitation and the inspiration for him. Unless they are in a space of agreed power play her communicating in these ways can cause him to feel very sexually inadequate and insecure.
There is a whole YONIVERSE to explore here and there is more that I haven’t even mentioned!
You have SO much pleasure within you.
You have the capability to awaken the Goddess between your legs. ANY woman can do this!
Pleasure is your birth right.
We were not born to be tamed. We were born to be freeeeeeeee!!!!
If this is speaking to you then come play with me in my signature program Rising in Love, Pleasure, Sex and Money. PM ME for all the juicy details and options.
Or take my online course Reawaken Your Yoni and start your journey to being sexually ecstatic today.